Christmas Message from Jerry

To the Join Jerry Family: It’s late. Santa is approaching. To help, we’ve filled the living room with gifts. Sam, Lindsey and Michael, ages 16, 14 and 12, say they know what the deal is. Michele and I play Santa anyway. I’m sure it’s just for the kids.On this Christmas, more than any other, I am thankful for the many blessings in my life, including my Join Jerry family. You helped me take a year of challenges and turn them into triumphs. You helped me laugh at bad news and embrace good news. You showed me even tough guys can use help. Your Relentless photos made me smile on most days and cry on others. After 2 ½ years of this, I occasionally find myself on the dark side; being sick and tired of waking up sick and tired. Then, without fail, someone says something via phone, email, text, FB, card or in person, that puts me back on the right track. Thanks. I know exactly how Lou Gherig felt on July 4, 1939. Merry Christmas to you and your families. Jerry

Relentless Santa

Coincidence?

I was at the bagel shop and the young man who was helping me had on a relentless band, and I held up my arm and showed him mine. I said "for my brother," and he said "for my sister," and I told him to come to this site because she was going to get a bone marrow transplant, and she did not know what to expect. So if you are the sister and you are reading this, welcome aboard and know that you are not alone. The transplant is documented in detail on Facebook, Join Jerry 2010. We would be glad to help any person or family get through this journey in any way we can.

Relentless

To be afflicted with a life-threatening illness is to feel a host of strong emotions, not the least of which is isolation. This is especially true of bone marrow transplant recipients, whose compromised immune systems often restrict contact from the outside world. My brother is a social, warm person who makes friends easily and holds on to friends for decades. Imagining him cut off from people is like imagining the family dog not coming up to say hello when its owner comes home after a long day.

Fortunately, my daughters--who are as fun loving as their uncle--understood the potential problem, far sooner than I. Armed with enthusiasm, hope, and knowledge of Facebook, they started a "Show us your Wrist" campaign, hoping to connect people to Jerry throughout his transplant journey. Since Jerry wears the NHL red “relentless” wristband, they encouraged others to wear one too--in a show of silent solidarity. And they asked people to post pictures of themselves wearing the wristband so Jerry would know he is not alone in his battle.

The response speaks to the generosity of the human spirit—and its creativity. The site has about 150 posted photos, and each week more come in. They are of individuals alone in their own backyards or of large groups, gathered at restaurants, delis, bars, Knights of Columbus meetings, SWAT sessions, museums, FBI gatherings, sporting events. There’s even one of a large group aboard the USS North Carolina battleship. The photos include people Jerry has known all his life as well as those he has never met—like an entire college swim team; the Georgetown tennis coach who has worn his red wristband so long it has turned pink; the attorney general of the United States, Eric Holder; and CBS Medical Correspondent, Jennifer Ashton. There are photos that are funny--like those of wristband-wearing trees, dogs, horses, fish and butterflies--and photos that are poignant, like those of the Duke Medical team who helped Jerry and his donor, our brother Anthony; those of our dad in his final days; and those of FBI agents on tours of duty. There are people doing relentless things while wearing the wristbands, like climbing mountains; running in half marathons, marathons and triathlons; and standing on their heads in yoga classes; as well as people just having fun: dancing on tables, swimming with dolphins, bowling, whitewater rafting, tailgating, water skiing, and drinking beer (Jerry’s beverage of choice). In fact, there’s even a bunch of photos of beer cans themselves. Wristbands have been found on teddy bears, Halloween decorations, children’s toys, mimes, contortionists, bikini-clad beauties, and there’s even a photo of the Rocky statue in Philly donning a wristband and a large statue south of the border thats's holding one in his massive hands.

Perhaps the most remarkable thing is that, somehow, wristbands have managed to travel around the country--as well as the world. Wristband-toting supporters have posted from DC, Kansas, Hawaii, California, New York, North Carolina, the Jersey shore, Chicago, Philly--as well as from Cairo, Colombia, Mexico, Kosovo, London, Germany, Italy, Paris, Stockholm, Afghanistan, Kabul, India, and Qatar.

The show of support has clearly helped Jerry in his recovery. I had a feeling that would happen. But what I didn’t realize is that Jerry would, in turn, help us, his family and friends and all of those who have followed his story. With grace and humor, he has demonstrated what it means to be relentless, and by doing so he makes us realize we are capable of conquering our own battles—whatever they may be.

In the weeks before Jerry’s transplant, dad’s health took a sudden turn. Jerry was enroute to see him but the hospital staff told us the delayed plane would certainly not arrive in time. Dad hung on for many hours longer than was expected, and the nurses were surprised. Jerry managed to arrive in time to say his goodbyes. Then quietly, just a few minutes after Jerry’s arrival, dad let go. Of the many things I recall of that night, one stands out: dad’s hand in Jerry’s, both of them wearing the red relentless wristband.

It is amazing how one word wrapped around a plastic band can unite us and give us strength we never knew we had.


"Relentless, adj: showing or promising no abatement of intensity, strength."

4 months: Is that all?

This has been a memorable four months. We lost dad two weeks before Jerry's transplant. Dad wanted to stay but knew it was his time. He made me promise to take care of Jerry, which is a little like promising to take care of a wild bull. I did my best, of course, but Jerry did all the work. His spirit and humor carried us all through. He inspired people from around the country and world to wear relentless bands and consider joining the bone marrow registry. Facebook photos of relentless band wearers have been inspiring, touching and entertaining to all of us. He is now actively involved in an effort that will result in reaching out to thousands of potential marrow donors across the country. The outpouring of love has helped him and all of us who love him. Thanks for your support along the way and for reading this blog. Here is the latest update from Jerry: "Well, it's been about 4 months and I am starting to feel much better. I am taking a lot less medicine (for now) and that has lifted the "fog" I have been in for awhile. I hope to replace the medicine with beer at some point. But then the whole fog thing will be back. Thanks for all the support, and laughs. Also, please consider registering as a potential bone marrow donor. Registering is easy and if contacted, you would be asked to save someone's life. Pretty cool. Donating marrow or stem cells is easy. If my brother can do it, anyone can do it. Thanks!"
Join the Registry - Be The Match Bone Marrow Registry
www.marrow.org

"New Talent"

One of my new talents is to give myself medicine everyday. Before June, if I was going to medicate myself, it usually involved several cold beers. Lately, that has meant hooking up to this handy pump and injecting some medicine with a funny name twice a day. Since you have all been with me during this, I thought I'd share some of the fun stuff with you :)

Day 100

To all 400 of you Join Jerry Crazies. Today is day 100. 100 days ago, someone said they wanted to poison me for 5 days, wipe out my immune system and then, here’s the funny part, take my brother’s marrow out of him and put it into me. If that’s not crazy enough, they said that my sister was going to be in charge and t...aking care of both of us. I said, OK, why not. I have been feeling pretty good the last few weeks. The medicine, and this process, makes me very tired sometimes, but every day is Saturday so it’s not a problem. I must tell you again that, even though fighting cancer is a little hassle, I have sucked every bit of fun and goodness out this. A lot of this is from you crazy people that have Joined Jerry, bought silly shirts, worn Relentless bands, attended a dinner, sent messages, shared Relentless photos and basically shared your Relentless spirit with me, making mine even more Relentlesser. Thank you for your support.

Jerry, checking in

It’s day 92. 92 days since I had my bone marrow wiped out and replaced by my brother's. (Who was the first one to try this crazy idea?) Everything is still going great. The only complaint I have lately is that I’m tired a lot. All the medicine I’m taking is probably more responsible for my fatigue than anything else. The docs are continuing to monitor me at least a couple times a week, making sure that my crazy brother’s marrow doesn’t mess up what used to be a very healthy body. My hair is starting to grow back. My kids say that it’s coming in a slightly different color. It looks ok to me. Thank you for all your support and all the great Relentless photos. I could not do this without all of you.

Relentless, indeed

Mark to Jerry: "Things going boom, bad guys with guns, and good guys with even bigger guns. Wish you were there pal."

Jerry to Mark: "It's been about 11 weeks so far. Sometimes I miss work, sometimes I don't. But I always miss the people. I work with such friendly people. Wish I was there today..."

My brother, still smiling

Feeling great today. But stopped in to see the doc and they hooked me up to this stupid machine. That's me today, 20-25 pounds lighter and no reason to shave this week! Thanks for messages and notes. You guys are great.